Thor: Thor sleeps anywhere, and naked. This has caused a few issues.
Steve: on his back or side, straight as he can, barely moving. This is a habit left over from camps and barracks, squashed in with other soldiers, and from before, from the cold bitter new York winters when he was a kid. The cold was dangerous for him, screwed with his lungs, so every night Bucky would come to his place and squeeze into his narrow bed to keep him warm. He was like a furnace. Steve’s elbows and knees were sharp as knives so he made sure to keep extra still so his friend would be comfortable. Bucky’s warmth probably saved his life.
Natasha: Fetal position. Natasha curls up like a cat, all curved limbs and tousled hair, one hand by her face. She looks innocent, almost at peace. This is because her other hand is wrapped around the gun beneath her pillow.
Tony: Sleeps spreadeagle, mouth open, limbs splayed, wherever he collapses. He goes days and days without sleep; he is the wraith in Avengers tower, making coffee and scrambled eggs at 4am and disappearing back to his lab. Steve’s not much for sleep either, and he’s the only one besides Pepper who can gain access to Tony’s workshop, so he often goes downstairs to find Tony passed out on the floor with a wrench clutched in his fist and oil in his hair. If Tony ever wonders why he falls asleep on the workshop floor and wakes up in his bed with his shoes removed, he never mentions it to Steve.
Bruce: sleeps more than any of them. It’s maybe a metabolism thing. Hulking out uses up a lot of energy, so whenever he shrinks back to regular Bruce-size he eats enough for three and then sleeps for at least 16 hours. He sleeps in fetal position like Natasha, but tighter, knees tucked up almost to his chest, his whole body a clenched fist. It looks almost painful. He frowns and mutters to himself, and sometimes he cries out. There is an unspoken agreement amongst the rest of the team that they won’t mention it.
Clint: Sleeps with his eyes open. Sitting up. On the couch, or on top of the fridge, or on the stairs. Basically wherever affords the best position to scare the shit out of Tony at 3 in the morning.
so I’m reading through this, and I’m like “wow, this is spot-on, this person has a really good grasp of the avengers”
and then I read clint’s
and now I am crying.
[clutches heart] i need one for loki
You know… I don’t think there’s a happier pair in the world.
The anatomy of the Beast
I definitely thought that last arrow was headed somewhere else.
cock of a HORSE
i FUCKING HIT MY HEA DON THE DESK BECAUSE OF LAUGHING SO HARD AT THAT LAST BIT
So wrong, but so right.
Nothing beats a snow pentagonal dodecahedron
do you wanna build a snow pentagonal dodecahedron?
it doesn’t have to be a snow pentagonal dodecahedron…
Imagine if Sirius could have raised Harry and when he sent a howler to him in his second year for driving the car to school.
"I’M NOT EVEN MAD, I’M ACTUALLY IMPRESSED. MERLIN’S BEARD I’M PROUD."
And Remus in the background “SIRIUS NO.”
- student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
- uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
- scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
- us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.
ya know what would help in this situation Takato? If you had some sort of eye protection, like say glasses but they cover the front of your eyes instead of being glass you put in front of your eyes. Being plastic would help because plastic wouldn’t break as easily as glass.
Ahh but where would you get such a device? Oh well guess you’re just going to have to face the brunt of the sand storm with your eyes unprotected..
I’ve never laughed harder in my entire life
i feel bad for teachers because i distinctly remember my mom bursting into tears once when she was grading papers and she was just mumbling “theyre so goddamn stupid” over and over
every time i read this i laugh a little harder